poetry project: images
Images
They are like the driving force of a military
colored gracefully to match the spill of blood they cause
sitting motionless like a cannon shell in the barrel of a destroyed tank
they are the deadly ten thousand words of the moment
Images are as powerful as the flag of peace or the declaration of war
images are guardian angels of humanity
although they pose a threat like they were crafted by the hands of the devil
standing still, they represent the headstones of fallen soldiers
when recognized, they are as destructive as the false truth they advertise
this effect is the moment of a Huey pilot falling to his demise
like that of the dead, images are forever trapped
their stories to never be told like the truth of war
covered up, the lies will rule like the dictator that created them
They are like the driving force of a military
colored gracefully to match the spill of blood they cause
sitting motionless like a cannon shell in the barrel of a destroyed tank
they are the deadly ten thousand words of the moment
Images are as powerful as the flag of peace or the declaration of war
images are guardian angels of humanity
although they pose a threat like they were crafted by the hands of the devil
standing still, they represent the headstones of fallen soldiers
when recognized, they are as destructive as the false truth they advertise
this effect is the moment of a Huey pilot falling to his demise
like that of the dead, images are forever trapped
their stories to never be told like the truth of war
covered up, the lies will rule like the dictator that created them
project reflection
Perspective in poetry is something that, in the earlier days of this project, I struggled greatly with. Creating perspective in things has always come easily to me in most areas but poetry was, and is still, not one of those areas. In the early days of my poem, the perspective was very unclear and wasn’t really present. When my poem was first written, I was merely just describing what I personally saw within images in the world around me. As the poem went through the meat grinder of relentless critiques and constant backspacing, the meaning of it became more and more clear as well as developed and even impactful. From simply stating what images could do to a person’s life and how they could change it, to describing a hellish or harmonious world images can create, I believe, is an absolutely huge advancement in the perspective and message of my poem. In terms of how sophisticated the perspective of my poem is compared to how sophisticated it was, it is apparent that the thought and effort put into the meaning and perspective of my poem is far greater in the final draft compared to the first few drafts.
In every piece of writing, changes and revisions are made to better enhance the experience held by the reader to create a larger sense of belonging in the text. One of the large changes that I made to my poem in the very early days of writing it was converting my page of thoughts put together in an unharmonious way to a poem that has a format and some sense of rhythm. Evidence from an early draft to support my claim that my first drafts were nothing more than scattered thoughts stuck together in an un-organized fashion can be seen in the following quote from my first draft: “Images act like guardian angels for those who need them the most.”
As is obvious, the structure, perspective, and precise message of this is hard to pick out and understand. I felt that this needed to change because if I kept my poem in this fashion, the message, perspective, and clarity of it would have been greatly compromised. My first draft would be better described as random thoughts over a period of time. Evidence from my final draft to support the claim that I did indeed improve upon all the problems I listed (and more) can be seen in this quote from my final draft used in exhibition:
“images are guardian angels of humanity although they pose a threat like they were crafted by the hands of the devil
standing still, they represent the headstones of fallen soldiers.”
As you can see, the final draft is much more clear and concise compared to the early draft. I made these changes because I believe that they are vital to the reader to better help them understand the message and perspective of the piece of writing they are reading. This change has impacted the intellectual message of my poem by simply providing the reader hints of information that hopefully sparks a train of thought that leads the reader to consider whether what is said in the poem is actually true or if the poem seems to clash and wage war with their personal opinions so that they begin to argue and create conflict with the poem in their thoughts. This change impacts the emotional message of my poem in a similar way to the intellectual message. Before, in the early draft, my writing was a jumbled mess, and not very impactful to the reader in any way. After the change, every line, word, and stanza fits together in a harmonious fashion that allows the reader to gain a beat and sense of rhythm in their head. This then leads to attachment and thus an emotional link between the poem and the reader. I think that transforming my poem from semi-random thoughts on a page to an organized and relatively well thought-out and structured poem improves my writing by allowing it to really take it’s shape and deliver it’s message to whomever reads it.
The second change that I made to my poem in order for it to get where it is now is had to do with changing most of the lines to match the project requirements. This means that after I arranged the poem in an acceptable manner, I realized that it was not actually speaking to peace, war, power, or truth, but that the poem was merely just describing the purity of what I see in images. To prove that the early versions of my poem were not focused on the requirements of the assignment, I offer the following quote:
“they are like powerful words spoken in the language of color
as gracefully jagged as a coral reef
hanging in the balance like words off your tongue.”
Now, I think that it is apparent that my early drafts of my poem were not focused on the given assignment and needed to be changed to fit the requirements of said assignment. Evidence that I changed my poem to better fit the expectations of this project are as follows, where I show the perspective of war:
“like that of the dead, images are forever trapped
their stories to never be told like the truth of war
covered up, the lies will rule like the dictator that created them”
The change that was made improves upon the message of my poem in many ways. It improves the intellectual message of my poem by allowing the reader to clearly understand what the poem is about so that they can easily think about what is said in the poem. Also, by speaking to the delicate subject of war, the poem itself is intellectually improved upon by talking about a touchy subject that would send some people screaming. I believe that only a few people would write a poem - often the deepest speaking form of literature on a personal level - about what can actually cause and support as well as kill off a war. The change made speaks to more than just the intellectual message, it also speaks to the emotional message. The final draft of my poem does this by, again, talking about a touchy subject. Many people know other people who were involved in war and have heard their stories, including me. With this being said, most people are aware of warfare but not entirely sure of the effects it can have and how it can deeply effect someone. While my change helps the reader relate to my poem on a more personal level, that is not the only reason I made the change. I made this change to help whoever reads my poem connect to the visual world around them, to help them see the impact that images can have in every corner of the world. I also made this change so that my poem would not got to waste because it didn’t meet the project requirements. Revising and practically re-doing my entire poem improves it immensely by giving the audience a clear perspective and something specific to think about.
The third to a long list of changes made to my poem is what I did after all the peer critiques. After mostly positive reviews, the poem still wasn’t quite good enough for me. I decided to read and re-read my poem until I found something that I could change. The changes made are small but put together, they could be considered to make one large change. A series of small revisions to specific sentences were made and thus the result is my final draft. Evidence to prove that I made small revisions to my poem can be seen in this quote from my earlier draft:
“this effect is the moment of a pilot falling to his demise.”
I felt that this line needed to have a change because it was specific but not specific enough. That sane sentence after I revised it is as follows: “this effect is the moment of a Huey pilot falling to his demise.” As I said, the changes made are small but adding the world Huey before pilot help to justify my art piece as I have a Huey helicopter in my art piece. The change I made to my poem helps to impact the intellectual message by allowing people to gain an understanding of the time frame that my poem is in. This change impacts the emotional message by allowing the audience of my poem to think about a pilot that could have actually been in a Huey and could actually been shot down. It also adds the disaster that was Vietnam to the pile of already-wrenching images. This helps establish a sense of disbelief and sadness hence the emotional attachment to the message that war ravages nearly everyone who takes part in it. I made all these little changes and revision simply because I felt that it would have added to the fullness and meaningfulness of my poem.
In every piece of writing, changes and revisions are made to better enhance the experience held by the reader to create a larger sense of belonging in the text. One of the large changes that I made to my poem in the very early days of writing it was converting my page of thoughts put together in an unharmonious way to a poem that has a format and some sense of rhythm. Evidence from an early draft to support my claim that my first drafts were nothing more than scattered thoughts stuck together in an un-organized fashion can be seen in the following quote from my first draft: “Images act like guardian angels for those who need them the most.”
As is obvious, the structure, perspective, and precise message of this is hard to pick out and understand. I felt that this needed to change because if I kept my poem in this fashion, the message, perspective, and clarity of it would have been greatly compromised. My first draft would be better described as random thoughts over a period of time. Evidence from my final draft to support the claim that I did indeed improve upon all the problems I listed (and more) can be seen in this quote from my final draft used in exhibition:
“images are guardian angels of humanity although they pose a threat like they were crafted by the hands of the devil
standing still, they represent the headstones of fallen soldiers.”
As you can see, the final draft is much more clear and concise compared to the early draft. I made these changes because I believe that they are vital to the reader to better help them understand the message and perspective of the piece of writing they are reading. This change has impacted the intellectual message of my poem by simply providing the reader hints of information that hopefully sparks a train of thought that leads the reader to consider whether what is said in the poem is actually true or if the poem seems to clash and wage war with their personal opinions so that they begin to argue and create conflict with the poem in their thoughts. This change impacts the emotional message of my poem in a similar way to the intellectual message. Before, in the early draft, my writing was a jumbled mess, and not very impactful to the reader in any way. After the change, every line, word, and stanza fits together in a harmonious fashion that allows the reader to gain a beat and sense of rhythm in their head. This then leads to attachment and thus an emotional link between the poem and the reader. I think that transforming my poem from semi-random thoughts on a page to an organized and relatively well thought-out and structured poem improves my writing by allowing it to really take it’s shape and deliver it’s message to whomever reads it.
The second change that I made to my poem in order for it to get where it is now is had to do with changing most of the lines to match the project requirements. This means that after I arranged the poem in an acceptable manner, I realized that it was not actually speaking to peace, war, power, or truth, but that the poem was merely just describing the purity of what I see in images. To prove that the early versions of my poem were not focused on the requirements of the assignment, I offer the following quote:
“they are like powerful words spoken in the language of color
as gracefully jagged as a coral reef
hanging in the balance like words off your tongue.”
Now, I think that it is apparent that my early drafts of my poem were not focused on the given assignment and needed to be changed to fit the requirements of said assignment. Evidence that I changed my poem to better fit the expectations of this project are as follows, where I show the perspective of war:
“like that of the dead, images are forever trapped
their stories to never be told like the truth of war
covered up, the lies will rule like the dictator that created them”
The change that was made improves upon the message of my poem in many ways. It improves the intellectual message of my poem by allowing the reader to clearly understand what the poem is about so that they can easily think about what is said in the poem. Also, by speaking to the delicate subject of war, the poem itself is intellectually improved upon by talking about a touchy subject that would send some people screaming. I believe that only a few people would write a poem - often the deepest speaking form of literature on a personal level - about what can actually cause and support as well as kill off a war. The change made speaks to more than just the intellectual message, it also speaks to the emotional message. The final draft of my poem does this by, again, talking about a touchy subject. Many people know other people who were involved in war and have heard their stories, including me. With this being said, most people are aware of warfare but not entirely sure of the effects it can have and how it can deeply effect someone. While my change helps the reader relate to my poem on a more personal level, that is not the only reason I made the change. I made this change to help whoever reads my poem connect to the visual world around them, to help them see the impact that images can have in every corner of the world. I also made this change so that my poem would not got to waste because it didn’t meet the project requirements. Revising and practically re-doing my entire poem improves it immensely by giving the audience a clear perspective and something specific to think about.
The third to a long list of changes made to my poem is what I did after all the peer critiques. After mostly positive reviews, the poem still wasn’t quite good enough for me. I decided to read and re-read my poem until I found something that I could change. The changes made are small but put together, they could be considered to make one large change. A series of small revisions to specific sentences were made and thus the result is my final draft. Evidence to prove that I made small revisions to my poem can be seen in this quote from my earlier draft:
“this effect is the moment of a pilot falling to his demise.”
I felt that this line needed to have a change because it was specific but not specific enough. That sane sentence after I revised it is as follows: “this effect is the moment of a Huey pilot falling to his demise.” As I said, the changes made are small but adding the world Huey before pilot help to justify my art piece as I have a Huey helicopter in my art piece. The change I made to my poem helps to impact the intellectual message by allowing people to gain an understanding of the time frame that my poem is in. This change impacts the emotional message by allowing the audience of my poem to think about a pilot that could have actually been in a Huey and could actually been shot down. It also adds the disaster that was Vietnam to the pile of already-wrenching images. This helps establish a sense of disbelief and sadness hence the emotional attachment to the message that war ravages nearly everyone who takes part in it. I made all these little changes and revision simply because I felt that it would have added to the fullness and meaningfulness of my poem.